You lent money to a friend or relative and they have gone quiet: proving the loan, writing properly, going to court, and finding where they live now

Is a loan between friends or family enforceable?

Yes. An agreement to lend money on the understanding it will be repaid is a contract, and a contract does not have to be in writing to be binding. What a court needs to be satisfied of is that it was a loan rather than a gift, and that is a question of evidence. In certain family relationships the law has historically been readier to presume that money passed was a gift unless the lender can show otherwise, so the evidence matters even more between relatives than between friends.

The strongest evidence is anything from the time of the loan that uses the word: a transfer reference saying "loan", a message asking to "borrow" or promising to "pay you back", a note of the repayment date. Part repayments, even small ones, are strong evidence too, because people do not repay gifts. Witnesses who were told about the loan at the time help. A later message in which the borrower acknowledges owing the money, in writing, is often decisive, which is one reason to ask for the money in writing before you do anything else.

Gather the evidence now

• Bank statements showing the transfers, with their references.
• Every message about the money, exported with dates, including the ones where they said they would pay.
• Any repayments received, however small, with dates.
• Anything that records what was agreed: the amount, the purpose, when it was to be repaid.
• The names of anyone who knew about the loan at the time.

Put it in date order. If you ever issue a claim, this is the bundle, and if you never do, it is what makes your letter credible.

Write before you do anything else

Ask for the money in writing, plainly and without heat: what was lent and when, what was agreed, what has been repaid, what is outstanding, how to pay, and a date by which you expect payment or a proposal. Say that if you hear nothing you will consider a court claim. Keep a copy.

The letter does three things. It gives the borrower a clean chance to pay or to propose instalments, which is how most of these end. It creates a written demand, which matters for the time limit below. And if the borrower replies acknowledging the debt, even to argue about the amount, you have the evidence a court wants. For an individual lender the formal Pre-Action Protocol for Debt Claims does not apply, because it is written for businesses claiming from individuals, but the Practice Direction on Pre-Action Conduct does, and a court will expect to see that you asked properly before you issued.

How long you have

In England and Wales the general time limit for a claim on a simple contract is six years under the Limitation Act 1980. For a loan with an agreed repayment date, time runs from that date. For a loan with no repayment date, where the money was lent on the understanding it would be repaid when asked, the Act generally does not start the six years until you make a written demand for repayment, which is one more reason to put the demand in writing and keep proof of it. A written acknowledgement of the debt or a part payment by the borrower can restart the clock. In Scotland the period is generally five years. If the loan is old, take advice before you rely on any of this.

Going to court

Most personal loans fall within the small claims limit and can be issued online through Money Claim Online. You pay a court fee based on the amount, which is added to the claim if you win, and you can claim interest. If the borrower does not respond to the claim, you can ask for judgment in default. If they dispute it, the court decides on the evidence, usually at a short hearing where neither side needs a lawyer. A judgment then has to be enforced, and every enforcement method needs to know where the debtor is and, for some, where they work.

The claim form needs the defendant's address, and the court rules expect you to take reasonable steps to find their current one if they have moved. A claim served at an address they left can be set aside later. Get the address right before you issue.

When they have moved

Trace Bureau will not trace a person for a personal reason, and we say so plainly. A debt is not a personal reason. Money owed under an agreement is a legitimate interest under UK GDPR whoever the parties are, and recovering a loan from a former friend or an estranged relative is a lawful purpose we record and act on. What we ask is that the declaration you make is true: the purpose is the money, and the address is used for writing to them or for the court, not for anything else.

The minimum to start is the person's full legal name plus a date of birth or a previous address, and for a friend or relative you usually have both. Add their phone number, where they worked, their partner's name and anything else you know. Trace Bureau cross-references more than 150 sources, registers and records, and a private investigator verifies the result before it is released. You receive a dated PDF report with their current registered UK address and a confidence rating: Confirmed, Probable or Possible. Standard is £150, delivered within 3 to 5 working days, and Priority is £200, delivered within 2 to 3 working days. Nothing is paid at instruction. Your card is only held, and it is charged only when a private investigator has verified the address. Not found, no fee. The person is not told who instructed the trace.

What not to do

• Do not turn up at their home or their parents' home. A course of conduct that amounts to harassment is an offence under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, and it is the fastest way to turn your claim into their complaint.
• Do not contact their employer, or post about the debt on social media. Statements about a named person that damage their reputation can be defamatory even when the debt is real.
• Do not involve mutual friends or family as messengers beyond a single polite request. It rarely works and it hardens positions.
• Do not threaten anything you are not entitled to do. "I will take this to the small claims court" is fine. Anything else is not.

If they genuinely cannot pay

A judgment against someone with no money and no assets produces paper, not payment. If the borrower is in real difficulty, a written repayment plan you can both live with is often the best outcome available, and a court will look kindly on a lender who offered one. Be aware that a person in a formal debt solution, or in a breathing space under the Debt Respite Scheme, has protection from enforcement for a period, and that income from certain benefits cannot be reached by an attachment of earnings order. Finding out where someone is and how they are living is the first step to judging which route is realistic.

When to instruct a trace

When the borrower has moved, your messages are going nowhere, and you have decided the sum is worth a letter or a claim. Instruct a trace online in about five minutes, or see the page for tracing a debtor.